For A Purpose

VCASS Audition Yesterday

The night before the audition, I actually woke up a few times in nervous anticipation. My heart started pumping faster in the middle of the night! I worried about what’ll happen – if I’ll nail it or blow it. After all the hard work, the sweat and tears, I was afraid I’d make a fool of myself if I got more nervous. I needed to calm myself.

I could think of nothing better but to pray for God to grant me His peace. I also asked for a lil’ extra – that I would not be nervous at all. Even though I prayed it, I actually thought it impossible and rather outlandish to not be nervous even a lil'. Usually even if I succeeded in appearing calm, my heart would be beating fast, my stomach squirmy and my hands all sweaty. It would be a miracle if God answers this one, I thought.

The next day, when I was led to the warm up room 15 minutes before the much awaited audition, I committed it all to God again. I was reminded of this verse:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

While waiting to be called in, I found myself wondering in amazement: “Gosh, why am I not feeling nervous at all?!! This is amazing!” Never had I once imagined myself, 5 minutes before it, not being anxious at all! I thanked God profusely for answering what I thought was an impossibility in such a situation. I couldn’t understand how it happened; I should be nervous! Who wouldn’t be? Then I was reminded, “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding…”

At that moment, I also understood the last line of Phil. 4:7, how the peace of God guarded my heart and mind: God did not allow any worry, doubt, or fear creep in! He gave me the confidence and security, not in myself, but in Him. I cannot thank God enough for such an unexplainable experience of His peace!

In the audition, I performed only one-third of the two pieces I prepared on the piano and violin. It’s a waste that the panel (5 of them!) didn’t hear the rest, but that’s what happens at auditions. =/ But I’m happy I did not make any mistakes on the pieces and technical work. I also said what I most wanted to say at the interview. The only few slips I made were in the aural test. Other than that, I’m glad it all went well. All the days of practice only for 15 minutes! Unbelievable!

The letter will arrive in two weeks time. For now I’m just glad that I can relax a bit, and… work on new pieces for next year’s Cert of Performance exam. Hahaha, I tell you, it’s never-ending! Yikes. =)